Prayers are needed, please...

This may be too much information for most of you, it's about our struggle to have a child, so rather than have some of you tell me afterwards "that was a little too much information, thanks", I'm warning you now so you can move along if you so choose.

I posted an update for our home group on our group website through the church's site, and decided to copy and paste it here, tweaking it so it's not addressing them and making it easier for you all to read.

Sunday night we had a fellowship gathering, no kids, and that was a first. We addressed a lot of things about reaching out and helping those around us (the Chin refugees, sick neighbors, etc). But at the end, our home group leaders (Jake and Laurel) had us sit down in the middle of the group and they all placed their hands on our shoulders and they prayed out loud for our struggle. It was so moving, and it really let us know that others really DO care about this, and are constantly praying for us. I say it all the time, but I praise the Lord that He brought us to the Ewings' group. They check in almost daily lately to see how appointments have gone and ask what they can be praying for in this whole thing.

Any prayers we can get for this would be greatly appreciated. I'm going to just transfer what I put in my other post, so here you go:

Good morning, everyone.

I wanted to take a quick moment this morning to give you guys an update from Andrew's doctor visit yesterday. The doctor let him know what his test results were: his sperm count is low, there is low motility, and there is some morphology (we are still a little confused as to what extent, but it means that part of his count is misshapen, making fertilization not possible with the affected count).

The doctor he saw was not the one who examined the lab results, so he's ordered another test for Andrew on April 27th, and he also wants a blood test (done yesterday) to determine Andrew's testosterone levels and such to see if medications are an option.

So basically: we still don't know a whole lot. The doctor didn't try to sugar coat anything and give false hope, but he didn't take AWAY the hope, either. Apparently there is still a chance that Andrew is completely infertile, the doctor is hoping to figure that out. At the moment, it seems there is a chance we could conceive, but based on Andrew's numbers from the first round of tests, it will be very difficult. There are options (IVF, etc) open to us down the road, of course, but those are costly and invasive. We would never rule any of it out, but we are hoping Andrew will be able to take medicine to boost the count and motility. Unfortunately there's nothing to be done about the morphology, but if that is the only obstacle then we would be in pretty good shape.

We were overwhelmed on Sunday by the outpouring of love from the group. I praise the Lord almost daily for guiding us to Jake and Laurel's table at Group Connect in January. It was His will that we were drawn there and selected to be a part of the group. Andrew and I are constantly saying how blessed we are to have them in our lives. I've been so focused on what the Lord is NOT doing in my life (i.e., getting pregnant), that I haven't really realized just how much He has done for me and Andrew. Moving to Corinth wasn't on our radar when we were looking at houses, and yet our realtor brought up that listing on a whim and we knew the second we walked into the house that we wanted to live there. Moving up there ultimately brought us to The Village, and to this group.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." I came across this verse this morning in Jeremiah 29:11, and it really stood out to me. I know that He has a plan for Andrew and I, and that He loves us. I don't feel like I'm being punished anymore, but I have to admit that was a tough idea to shake from my head. I just don't understand, and I was trying SO HARD to understand the "why". I am learning to let go of trying to know everything about it. I just have to have faith. Laurel pointed out to me this morning that while scientifically things may seem bleak, nothing is impossible with the Lord. That is exactly what I read in Matthew 19:26 this morning as well…"But Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" Having the group here to be our support system is definitely the work of the Lord, and we give thanks for His love and for them. I still can get very sad about the way things are at the moment, but I'm seeking the Lord constantly everyday for patience and strength. Andrew's been such a strong rock through this, and we certainly are growing together in this situation the Lord has provided. Outside of the Lord and Andrew, I really only had my sister for encouragement. But our group has been so warm and loving and full of verses for me to turn to so I can see the Lord's love for me. And Sunday night just really touched us both, so from the bottom of our hearts: thanks to our group for the prayers on this matter, it means more than you could possibly know to have more than just the two of us praying to the Lord for a child.

We love you guys, hope you're having a blessed week, and we will update you all more when we know more.

Day 33

The days are blurring together at this point, haha, so I'm sorry I've been bad about posting.

We have both hit kind of a wall, I guess, with the weight loss part. I still feel like I'm losing inches, though, as things fit differently everyday. This past weekend, I put on an XL shirt, and was able to wear it out in public! I've been in a 2XL-3XL for at LEAST a year. I was SO STOKED. Andrew's able to get things on he hasn't been able to in awhile, and we're just so excited at all of the changes.

It's still really tough with cravings some days. We both wanted to cheat SO BADLY this weekend, but we didn't. We have been toying with only doing 45 days instead of 60. Not because we feel bad (because we don't), but because it's actually getting harder to resist for some reason. So we're thinking about going 45 days on juice only, then going the last 15 days on juice half of the time, and fruits and veggies only the rest of the day. So we'll see.

Also, for you nay-sayers about how no-meat-means-you're-not-getting-enough-protein: I highly recommend you go to Netflix or somehow find "Fork Over Knives". More powerful than "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" was (and you saw how we reacted to THAT film, haha!). There's no denying that meat is NOT a good thing for you, really, once you watch that film.

Andrew has lost 40 pounds, I have lost 33. It's been three days since I lost anything (I don't count the .4 pounds, haha), but I think it's because I'm not drinking as much water and a few other things. I've been sleeping really bad, my back has been hurting from hunching over slightly to write down recipes, and so I have been tossing and turning. Couple that with being nauseous during the day (which is why I've cut back on water), a suddenly needy cat at odd hours of the night, and it makes for one tired, drained lady. So I'm determined to drink lots of water today.

We went to see our doctor on Friday. He was SO PROUD of us! He did some blood work on me, and I got the results back this morning: my labs are "excellent", which is never a word used to describe my blood work before, haha. I actually have kicked the vitamin D deficiency in the booty, and don't have to take 5000 mg a day (in addition to 2 multivitamins). I can go down to 2000 mg, which is a HUGE improvement. My iron levels are great, and my thyroid is fine (always has been, but he keeps an eye on it just in case after what happened with Andrew). He had no concerns whatsoever.

Andrew spiked a fever Sunday night, so he stayed home from work yesterday and today. He also was having some serious stomach issues. I felt so bad for him, he just looked so pitiful yesterday. I got to leave early from work (still worked the first 5 hours, though) since we were slow, and I proceeded to rest up on the couch all day. We were in bed before the sun went down last night, and I was up feeling MUCH better this morning. A little nauseous still (and no, people: I'm not pregnant--and yes I'm sure, haha), but my PCOS medicine can randomly act up and start making me feel icky, so I'm sure it's just that. Plus I only have 5000 mg tablets of vitamin D that I've still been taking, so I am going to go to taking one of those every other day and see if that improves my stomach issue.

Work is going great, it's tax season for us. Since April 1st I only have had one day off, and so I'm just feeling drained from all of that. Working last Saturday was NOT fun, and I'm working this Saturday. The over-time is great, but it's already wearing me down. Can't wait until this month is OVER, haha.

I'm super stoked, I get to see my two oldest girlfriends this Thursday! Haven't seen Bob in MONTHS, and it's been awhile since Sara and I hung out properly. I'm going to take them the recipe book I've been working on and see what they think. Sara hasn't seen me since I was at around 12-14 pounds of weight loss, and I think there's a much bigger difference now, I can't wait to show her! Bob hasn't seen me since before I started, so I KNOW she'll notice a difference, haha! =)

I hope all of you had a wonderful Easter!!

Juice on!

Day 27

I know, I know...I forgot to post yesterday. I had a VERY good reason, though: I'm recipe obsessed!! I seriously have been going through websites with a fine-tooth comb and picking out all sort of recipes. My friend Karyn has given me my favorite: Tastespotting.com. I just key an ingredient into a search field, and I get back pages of recipes with that in there. You can also type in phrases, like "gluten free" or "healthy" or "vegetarian" and it will bring back any posting with that in the title. It's SUCH A COOL SITE. I have been a busy bee once I get home, furiously filling out the recipe cards that came with the AWESOME book we bought at The Hallmark Store (thanks for the suggestion there, Jill!). We may have to buy even more cards, I have found so many recipes and forwarded them home so I can labor away once I get home. I've found a whole range of things: from the uber healthy, to the mostly healthy, to the "well, this at least has my serving of veggies in it", to some splurge meals (we found a homemade version of Tredway BBQ's Porky Melt, only with a "slice" of mac and cheese on there...that will be a sometimes thing, obviously, but YUM!!). Sides and healthy, quick desserts, simple meals that even I can make.

I. Am. Literally. Obsessed.

In fact, I am dying to get through this blog post so I can spend just a few minutes of my break on Tastespotting.com, as I just thought of another thing to look up recipes for...

So, my back has been hurting lately and I've felt so tired since I'm not sleeping as well. No one else seems to notice, though, people I talk to STILL say "you look like you have so much energy!" I am still super fidgety when at my desk, so I guess I do still have energy. So I have energy, and I'm tired. Haha.

I down 30 pounds! Andrew's lost 35. We're both kinda slowing down, sometimes there are days when we just lose a couple of ounces as opposed to a whole pound, but that's okay. The number is still going down, and that's what we want. I have a doctor's appointment Friday, and since Andrew is off he is going to go with me. We cannot WAIT to see the look on our doctor's and nurse's face when they see us! They are going to be so excited for us!

This Saturday will be Day 30...the halfway point of our 60-day journey. We are so excited. It's gone by fast, and yet it's taking forever at the same time! We are both so happy we are doing this, though, and are thrilled with the results! We discover new changes all the time, and those make the cravings bearable.

Hope you all are doing well!

Juice on!