"The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven": A True Story

This book has had my mind going, and I haven't even finished the book, yet. Apparently, there's a similar book called "Heaven Is Real", but I have not read that one. I wish everyone could read this book I'm reading!!! It's LITERALLY caused me to stop and put the book down to process things I'd read or so I could pray. It's MOVING me. My journey has been sort of a late-blooming type, if you will. I didn't go to church growing up. No Sunday school, no discussions on God and the Bible and faith. My sister was really the first one of us to break out of that cycle and be saved.

And I admit to all of you now: I thought she was a nutcase back then. I didn't understand the scripture she spoke of. I wasn't used to being around people that regularly used "Jesus", "God", or "Lord" in daily conversations. I certainly wasn't used to living a Christian life. So I thought she was weird, something that I couldn't relate to.

I realized some time ago that I was misunderstanding her, and religion in general. But it hasn't been until very recently that things have REALLY started to take shape for me. I have always "believed" in God, without always knowing what that meant. I prayed practically daily as a teenager, I can honestly say He was a part of my life at that point and always since. I know He has always done His "part" in our relationship, but I've never truly lived up to my end of the deal of being a Christian. I have sinned. A lot. In ways I never really looked at before now.

Something my mother said to me recently really hit home. We had a conversation to get our relationship back on track. I made it clear that I didn't want her bad-mouthing people I cared about to me, it was something that had always upset me. Not too long after, I was telling her about something that happened back in March of this year, where Andrew and I had a falling out with one of his brothers over something that brother's wife and her best friend had done. I was ranting about how much I couldn't stand them and how awful they were, and my mother pointed out that I was just doing the very thing that I had asked HER not to do. And it has had me thinking. I'm so used to saying awful things about them every time these two women came up that I didn't think anything of it. I tossed the word "hate" out a lot, and I use that word in so many other aspects about people and things in life. And it was then that I wanted to change not only the way I spoke about those women, but the way I FELT about them. Do I still dislike what they did?? Of course. I really think they are to be pitied for the way they treat people and the way they live their lives. But I shouldn't hate them. I actually am wanting to remove that word from my vocabulary. I need to pray for them, genuinely pray for them. And I did. At one point while reading this book, I put the book down, tilted my head, and I prayed. I cried while I prayed, because I realized that this is the way I needed to see things.

Today, my brother-in-law Zach called, and we somehow got to talking about what had happened back in March with these two women and his and Andrew's brother. And it really was the first time I'd talked about it without getting angry, without feeling strong feelings of dislike towards the women. We talked for nearly an hour, mostly about religion and how we're both on journeys that are taking us closer to the Lord.

He and his wife have found a church in Georgia since moving in April, and they have found a community group through that and friends that are Christians. It's been a relatively new experience for them, and last night they were both baptized in their new church. I am so proud of them, and so happy that they are on the right path. I've contemplated over the last few years that maybe I should be re-baptized. I was baptized when I was in the ninth grade, only because I was made to. It was the "right" thing to do. But it wasn't my choice, and I didn't WANT to do it. I didn't understand what it meant, and I didn't do it because I wanted to with my whole heart.

So I would like to find a church to join, where we can meet people that are Christians and be surrounded by fellowship and love the way so many people we know are. I want to have a pastor that I can sit down with and ask questions as I learn more about the Bible. I've never read it completely, I've read small pieces here and there. I want to have friends that can quote scripture and have long discussions with them about things I read and think about. I want to finally be able to speak about the Lord without fearing people will think I'm a freak, the way I used to think about people who talked like that. I love it when others pray before a meal, and I would love to get comfortable enough to lead my OWN prayer someday without feeling like people were judging me for it. Between this book, my mother's comment, Zach and Holly's baptism, and the example my sister and her family set forth on a daily basis...I am ready. I don't feel weird talking about it anymore. I want to soak up as much knowledge as I can. In fact, I fully plan on tearing my house apart until I find the box that has my sadly under-read Bible in it so I can start today to rectify how little it's been used.

I haven't told Andrew, yet, but we WILL be going to church for the first time in a few months this weekend. He will be thrilled, I know he's missed it as much as I have. I have just been scared at what finding a new church means. I'm not scared anymore, I cannot express in words how excited I am at what it means.

Thank you Zach and Holly. Thank you Kevin and Alex Malarkey, though you'll never read this. Your story has TRULY opened my eyes.